Elephant or Gorilla?

It starts with a question: is it an elephant or a gorilla?

This question, I feel, is an unlikely one since the two animals are so very different, and also not usually wandering around near people with poor eyesight who may need clarification about what animal is about to crush their dog.

Really, though, one of these animals is often in the room, and I could see how an 800 pound gorilla could be mistaken for a small elephant. So which is it: elephant or gorilla?

It's a gorilla, a really big gorilla. Unless there's a problem in the bedroom (and not because getting an upholstered headboard is too expensive or you need a new duvet cover), then it's an elephant. Other than the obvious and tired elephant-trunk jokes (this meme really peaked with Missy Elliot), when it comes to elephant v. gorilla, elephant always wins (they have better lawyers), and a leaky sink in the kitchen is always less bad than one in the bedroom.