Swap meat?

I fail at understanding the meaning of "swap meet". Someone said it and I though it's "swap meat" ... a gathering where people exchange partners or something... that... partners... have.

Sauce pants

Polecat just cooked a large Polish dinner for teh other kittehs. While everyone was waiting in suspense for the food to be finished, Polecat spilled some food on his pants. Thus Polecat had sauce pants. Polecat didn't know this was different from what the waiting people felt. There was quite a build-up of sauce pants until the food was ready.

I mean, Polecat does work in a tech company...

but when Polecat walked outside past the garden of cacti, he was not trying to make a comment on the decline of women in computer science. The plural of cactus, is definitely pronounced cacti; Polecat did not mean to comment on how many cockti there are around the office.

An oven-like mitt?

The astronaunts in this story had 'oven-like mitts'?! Either their hands must have been weighted down by a four-range stove with oven door and warming bin (and maybe one of those little kitchen timers), or the mittens kept their hands nice and toasty warm -- wouldn't they have been 'toaster-like mitts' in that case? An alternative is that the reporter should have said "oven-mitt like mitts". Ideally, she would have avoided the contentious issue all together, but we shouldn't really expect someone who titles an article: "Astronauts step outside space station for lube job" to seriously consider the semantics of hand-wear.
Moreover, a mitt is pretty much the same as a mitten, but somehow muffs and muffins are not so grammatically interchangeable? Yes, we're back to the muff issue again. No, you should not think about it too hard, at least not out loud.

Watch out Superman

When starting a new, complicated project, it's often important to get some oversight, someone to supervise, if you will. It looks like Polecat needs some supervision. This can be a tricky ask when you're Polecat, because you don't accidentally want to ask for someone's super-vision (or super vision), thus leaving them with normal 20/20, or even a pair of glasses.

Supervision: someone is going to watch out for you
Super-vision (or super vision): someone may end up blind, then they'll need to supervision

One exam you don't want to proctor

"Just to clarify, proctor and Proctology are not related."

Proctology is from the Greek words Proktos and Logos. Proctor is from the word procurator. No relation.

In America, they rear children

Child rearing has become a more prominent in the news with discussions of Michelle Obama's role as first lady (or first mother?). Polecat doesn't understand why child rearing is okay to talk about on such a wide scale, or in public, or not in jail.

It would seem that raising and rearing children is the same thing. How does this make sense? You can raise a flag, but not rear it. You can not go into a raise entrance to a building. Can you get too drunk in a bar and end up raising.......? um. yeah.

meow.

The udderly wrong word for work

It's just that cows aren't the cleanest animals in the world. Polecat doesn't want things that come from them. Steak is okay, but milk, well, Polecat doesn't want to touch anything that comes from a cow's... udders.

Sometimes Polecat forgets more specific words like 'udder'. Not all animals have them. People don't have them so Polecat doesn't need that word so often. Technically there are other words that can be more widely used; remembering those means having a wider vocabulary with fewer words.

Some of these words don't seem to be as okay to use in public, however.

But, Polecat doesn't want anything that comes from a cows udders.

Ear muffins?

Now that it's getting cold here in the California, Polecat's ears sometimes get cold. How do you fix this? Warm ear coverings of some sort would help, but what are they called? It could not be 'ear muff'; we all know what that refers to. Warm, maybe. Okay to wear on your ears? Um. No. It must be time to think about going to buy some ear muffins. Warm is right, the general shape is even right. The English language, it seems, is not right.